Is Marriage Blessed—or a Cause of Damnation?

Question

Peace be upon you.

Dear teacher, I was listening to a psychologist’s comments. She said that a woman who gets involved with a married man is a “homewrecker.” Could you please assess this statement? The Imams had several wives, so wouldn’t using this expression amount to slandering those women? Is it religiously correct? Islam itself permits a man to have up to four wives, although in our culture we do not consider this right and see it as ruining another woman’s life. The Quran also stresses that a man should marry only one wife, since he may not be able to act justly.

But culture is a separate matter from religious law. Just because something is part of our culture does not mean it must also be religiously prescribed.

Accepted Answer

Marriage, when undertaken within the bounds of tradition, divine rulings and law, with the intention of drawing near to Allah, Blessed and Exalted, is always blessed. But any good deed performed with the aim of bringing about evil invites a curse.

Faith in God becomes meaningful only when a person accepts all divine commands wholeheartedly, even when they run counter to personal desires. True faith is proven when one embraces God’s commands and decrees wholeheartedly, even when they are unwelcome.

Al-Baqarah: 216 كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتالُ وَ هُوَ كُرْهٌ لَكُمْ وَ عَسى‏ أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئاً وَ هُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَ عَسى‏ أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئاً وَ هُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَ اللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَ أَنْتُمْ لا تَعْلَمُونَ   
Fighting in the way of God has been prescribed for you, though it is hateful to you. Perhaps you dislike something that is good for you, and perhaps you love something that is bad for you. God knows, and you do not know.

An-Nisa’: 66 وَ لَوْ أَنَّا كَتَبْنا عَلَيْهِمْ أَنِ اقْتُلُوا أَنْفُسَكُمْ أَوِ اخْرُجُوا مِنْ دِيارِكُمْ ما فَعَلُوهُ إِلاَّ قَليلٌ مِنْهُمْ وَ لَوْ أَنَّهُمْ فَعَلُوا ما يُوعَظُونَ بِهِ لَكانَ خَيْراً لَهُمْ وَ أَشَدَّ تَثْبيتاً   
Had We commanded them, “Slay yourselves,” or, “Leave your homes,” only a few of them would have done so. Had they acted upon the exhortations given to them, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith.

Is Marriage Blessed—or a Cause of Damnation?

The essence and first answer at a glance (60-word summary)

Answer by Master Ali Saei (Abdullah Meshkat)

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