The Most Beautiful Choice in Marriage

The Miracle of Choosing and a Gnostic Treatise on Woman: The Secrets of a Worthy Marriage Proposal, the Qualities of a Suitable Spouse, and the Customs of the Marriage Contract and Dowry

Introduction and the Need for This Work

The book *The Most Beautiful Choice in Marriage (The Miracle of Choosing in Marriage)* is the second volume in a five-book family series, drawn from the reference work *The University of Marriage*. Choosing a spouse is the most consequential choice a person makes in life, shaping one’s fate in this world and the next. Breaking new ground, this book first explores the mystical truth of woman and man, then sets out precise criteria for choosing a worthy spouse.

Approach and Method

The author’s approach is to bring profound principles of spiritual understanding into conversation with the practical realities of the marriage proposal process. Grounded in the luminous verses of the Noble Qur’an, sound hadiths from the Ahl al-Bayt (AS), and clear, engaging parables, the book formulates the outward and inward criteria for a lasting choice.

Key Themes

• An introduction to the gnostic treatise on woman and an understanding of the philosophy behind Eve’s creation as “Adam’s very soul and the companion who eased his loneliness”
• Learning the definitive criteria for choosing a worthy spouse and recognising the red lines around “prohibited marriages”
• Understanding the structural and psychological differences between women and men, and the need to be considerate of a spouse’s particular nature
• Reconsidering the philosophy of the dowry and bridal gifts through the model of simplicity and blessing exemplified by the Prophet and Fatima
• Learning the spiritual and inward customs of reciting the marriage sermon and strengthening the bond in the presence of the Lord

Intended Readers

Young people preparing to make the decision to marry; women and men of marriageable age; parents, educators, and family counsellors.

Contents and Chapter Headings

1. Introduction: The Miracle of Choosing and the Place of Volume Two in the Family Book Series
2. Part One: A Gnostic Treatise on Woman (Salutations to Fatima Zahra; Our Mother Eve; the Secret Behind the Name *mar’a*; and the Parables of the Rib and the Eyebrow)
3. Part Two: Prohibited Marriage and Priorities in Choosing a Spouse (Criteria for a Worthy Spouse; the Qualities of Good Men and Women)
4. Part Three: The Dowry and Bridal Gifts (The Philosophy of the Dowry, the Spiritual Reward of Forgoing It, and Prophetic Traditions of Simple Marriage)
5. Part Four: The Marriage Sermon and the Spiritual Customs of Union (The Sermon of Praise, Mindfulness of the Heart at the Moment of the Marriage Contract, and Strengthening the Bond in the Presence of the Real)

Golden Passages from the Book

Adam, the Soul of Clay; Eve, the Soul of Adam
“Adam was created from clay, but woman was created from Adam’s body and soul. Adam is the living soul of clay, and Eve the living soul of Adam; Adam is the soul of clay, and Eve the soul of Adam… Women were called *nisāʾ* because Adam had no companion or solace other than Eve.” (p. 8)

God’s Tender Care for Woman
“Woman is a delightful blessing and a precious gift, bringing a special pleasure and sweetness to her husband’s soul. Through women, God welcomes His servants with tenderness. He has provided no substitute for this blessing and has made it one of the signs of His kindness and mercy toward creation.” (p. 18)

The Secret of Delicacy and the Parable of the Eyebrow
“The beauty of the eyebrow and the usefulness of the rib lie in their arch and curve; if they were perfectly straight, they would be flawed and of no use. When the arched eyebrow and curved rib are considered together, woman’s worth and value become clear. Woman is delicate by nature, and one should benefit from the fragrance and goodness of her being with kindness and respect.” (p. 10)

Choosing in the Light of Knowledge
“A worthy choice comes only through knowledge and genuine understanding. Faith, a good reputation, a pure spirit, and fine character are the gems that make the foundation of a happy life secure.” (p. 5)

Prohibited Marriage and Avoiding Harm
“In choosing a spouse, just as one flees from fire and venomous creatures, one must guard against blameworthy traits and an incompatible companion. A kindred companion brightens the horizon of life, while an unworthy one makes life bitter to the soul.” (p. 25)

The Strength of the Marriage Sermon and Mindfulness of the Heart
“The marriage sermon and the praise of God give the edifice of marriage heavenly strength and solidity. The marriage sermon should be recited with mindfulness and full presence of heart, so that its divine majesty and blessing may shine throughout one’s life.” (p. 52)