Question No. 3474 10 September 2026 Official answer by Master Ali Saei (Abdullah Meshkat) verified سطح محتوا: مقدماتی

What Is a Child’s Duty When Parents Make Unreasonable Demands?

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Dear questioner, Master Ali Saei

Tracking code: #Q-3474

#Our_Duty_Toward_Our_Parents

Respected teacher, sometimes we see parents who are not fully aware of the role they should play and the responsibilities they have toward their children. For instance, they may expect their children, without giving it much thought or planning, to arrange their schedules around their wishes. If the children do not comply, the parents feel hurt.

Since Almighty God has repeatedly urged us in the Quran to obey and show kindness to our parents, what is a child’s duty in such situations? Are we obliged to put our parents’ plans and wishes ahead of our own, even when their expectations seem unfair?

I would be grateful for your guidance, respected teacher.
َّهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحيمِ

Subject category: Ethics and Spirituality Religious Upbringing and Family

The essence and first answer at a glance (60-word summary)

A child’s duty when faced with unreasonable demands from parents is not to obey them in disobedience to the Creator. While maintaining courtesy and respect, a child should refrain from joining their parents in sin and should encourage them to do what is right and discourage what is wrong.

Answer by Master Ali Saei (Abdullah Meshkat)

Teacher and researcher in the intellectual tradition of wisdom and the Ahl al-Bayt | Soroush Bamdadān Cultural Center

In disobedience to the Creator, no obedience is permitted—not even obedience to one’s parents!

Al-‘Ankabut 29:8 وَ وَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسانَ بِوالِدَيْهِ حُسْناً وَ إِنْ جاهَداكَ لِتُشْرِكَ

We have enjoined upon the human being kindness to his parents. But if they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you of what you used to do. لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلا تُطِعْهُما إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِما كُنْتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

عَنْ عَلِيٍّ ص أَنَّهُ قَالَ: لَا طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوقٍ فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِDa’a’im al-Islam, vol. 1, p. 350

Imam Ali (peace be upon him): No created being is to be obeyed in disobedience to the Creator. (That is, no creature should be obeyed when doing so would entail disobedience to the Creator.)

While maintaining courtesy, respect and kindness toward their parents, they should firmly refuse any call from them to sin, and enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong.

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What Is a Child’s Duty When Parents Make Unreasonable Demands?

The essence and first answer at a glance (60-word summary)

Answer by Master Ali Saei (Abdullah Meshkat)

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