The Burning Thirst of Hajj

🌼🔆🌼The Hajj of Loving Doves🌼🔆🌼

🔹An Exposition and Commentary on the Sahifa Sajjadiyya: Supplication 23
📅 Date: 1404/02/30 – 22 Dhu al-Qi’dah 1446
✨ Session: Meshkat-e Noor
🎤 Speaker: Master Ali Saei
📝 Some points discussed in the session:

🕋 The blessing of Hajj, Umrah, and visiting the Messenger of God

«اللَّهُمَّ وَ امْنُنْ عَلَیَّ بِالْحَجِّ وَ الْعُمْرَةِ وَ زِیارَةِ قَبْرِ رَسُولِکَ صَلَوَاتُکَ عَلَیْهِ وَ رَحْمَتُکَ وَ بَرَکَاتُکَ عَلَیْهِ وَ عَلَى آلِهِ، وَ آلِ رَسُولِکَ عَلَیْهِمُ السَّلَامُ أَبَداً مَا أَبْقَیْتَنِی فِی عَامِی هَذَا وَ فِی کُلِّ عَامٍ، وَ اجْعَلْ ذَلِکَ مَقْبُولاً مَشْکُوراً، مَذْکُوراً لَدَیْکَ، مَذْخُوراً عِنْدَکَ.»

🕊 O God… may I be Your pilgrim in every moment

O Lord, bestow Your grace upon me;
grant me the honor of performing Hajj and Umrah, and of visiting the tomb of Your Messenger… upon whom be Your blessings and mercy.

O Lord, grant me the grace to be Your pilgrim, performing Hajj and Umrah for You, in every single moment.
May I be Your pilgrim not only in time, but beyond time as well.
O Lord, I do not want to be released from my state of pilgrimage for even a moment.
I want to remain in ihram for You forever, answering Your call with “Labbayk.”
My Lord, make me—my whole being—into Hajj.

O Lord, I want to perform Hajj for You with my whole being, and for my whole being to become Hajj.
I do not want to remain at the outward form of Hajj;
I want to experience the unseen reality of Your Hajj.

O Lord, I set out on a journey to the Throne to meet You—not only this year, but in every single moment.
I want to be in Your presence, never separated from You for even a moment.

O Lord, show me:
Your unseen realm, the unseen reality of Your prayer, Your fast,
the unseen reality of Your remembrance, the unseen reality of Your Hajj.

🚀 Hajj means the beginning of ascent, the beginning of flight

Indeed, Hajj means the beginning of ascent, the beginning of flight.
Among the reasons for Hajj is setting out as a pilgrim toward God Most High.
Whoever enters God’s presence becomes a pilgrim.
Not merely entering, but setting forth as a pilgrim: taking flight with one’s whole being.

With one’s entire being, riding the finest mount in all existence,
and soaring toward God with the greatest tools, speed, power, and energy.
This is what is meant by setting forth toward God.

A pilgrim is one who sets forth.
One who flies toward God at full speed.

What—or who—is the fastest, most advanced craft for traveling toward God?
If we do not board it, we will be like birds that fly with all their might
across this expanse, yet still fall short.

Even if we use the utmost speed and precision, and all our strength,
it will still not be enough to journey toward Him.

He Himself will bring us to Him;
when I have spent all that I possess,
He Himself will become my provision.

Why?
Because He alone is worthy of Himself.
And He alone can draw me toward Himself.
But when I have made the most reverent use of His vessels,
I will attain that station.

🛫 Hajj: the beginning of flight toward the House of the Throne

Hajj means the beginning of ascent. Where are we going?
This earth has its heavens, its kingdom, and its unseen realm.
With the deepest part of our being, we must soar to the highest heaven.

We are traveling toward God’s Kaaba.
This Kaaba lies opposite God’s al-Bayt al-Ma‘mur.
And that *al-Bayt al-Ma‘mur lies opposite God’s al-Bayt al-Dirah*
And **al-Bayt al-Dirah lies opposite God’s Throne.

And what is the Throne of God set opposite?
Could it be “قابَ قوسَین أو أدنى”?
I do not know…

I begin, so that I may reach the end.
If I reach the Kaaba but do not feel the Bayt al-Maʿmur,
and do not circle the Bayt al-Durah with the angels,
then my Hajj is incomplete.

Everyone must become a pilgrim at every moment.
Is not the heart of the believer the Throne of God?
So, at every moment, a person can take flight.

We begin…

What have we done?
Those angels who challenged God and said:

«أَتَجْعَلُ فِیهَا مَن یُفْسِدُ فِیهَا وَ یَسْفِکُ الدِّمَاء…?»

They said:
«Will You place on earth one who will spread corruption there and shed blood,
while we glorify and praise You?»

For this boldness, those angels circled the Bayt al-Durah,
seeking to win their Lord’s favor and make amends for their audacity.

🧎‍♂️ From audacity to seeking mercy

How many times have we dared to defy…
How many pledges have we broken…

How can we plead our case before God?
We must make ourselves like God’s friends,
so that we may draw His merciful gaze toward us.

At every moment, we stand at the end of our life’s thesis.
We must add the final signature.

Are we ready to arrive?
Are we ready?
If we reach the other side—which we will, in an instant—
we will find ourselves there without warning—
are we ready to reach the Greater Meeting, or not?

This Hajj is a little Resurrection, a chance to test ourselves:
Are we ready?

I am not.
By God, I am not ready to depart at all.
I have nothing—nothing.
Rather, I carry a heavy burden of sin.
What am I to do with it?

Let us prepare for Hajj.
At every moment, we must experience the highest celestial realm.
We must not remain confined to the outward forms of rulings, acts, and movements.

We must pass from words to allusions;
from allusions to subtleties;
from subtleties to the realities of this world.
And from realities, reach the highest celestial realm.

From the outward form of prayer, to its horizon;
and from the outward form of Hajj, to its highest horizon.

If we do not arrive,
we have merely performed movements—not touched the truth.

🌌 A prayer to behold the celestial realm: from Abraham to us

The same God who showed Abraham the dominion of the heavens and the earth
also asks us to pray to Him to show us His dominion.

This is God’s command:

“Take the Station of Abraham as a place of prayer.”

That is, God wants us to become like Abraham.
He wants us to attain Abraham’s station.

God calls us—to where?
To His Abraham’s Station.

Where is that?
The Station of Abraham…

Can we enter that Abrahamic station?
So that we may find security forever?

🕌 To stand in the station of Muhammad and the Family of Muhammad

Yes, we must arrive.
We must stand at the Station of Abraham.
We must take our place where Abraham stood.

We must rise to the station of Muhammad and the Household of Muhammad.

Our prayer must be Muhammadan and Alid;
so, too, our giving of alms.
Our pilgrimage must reach the station of Muhammad and the Household of Muhammad;
so, too, our remembrance of God.

The highest station of our devotion must attain the station of Muhammad and the Household of Muhammad.

🕋 From pilgrim to pilgrimage

The purpose of Hajj is to reach that exalted station.
Muhammad and the Household of Muhammad have attained it.
They have themselves become Hajj.

نحن الحج

That is, they have risen from being pilgrims to becoming the pilgrimage itself.

We, too, must attain that station.
Until we do, our devotion to God remains incomplete:
unripe, unready, unfinished.

God does not want an unripe servant.
He wants a servant who has come to maturity,
a servant made whole,
who attains the highest degrees of devotion.

I am ready to set out on the pilgrimage.
At every moment, I must be ready to depart for Hajj.

🕊 With the Two Weighty Things, to meet the Greatest Lord

We must perceive the inner reality of all things:
the inner reality of prayer, of Hajj, of meeting Him, of beholding Him.

How can we reach it?
Let us ask God to bring us to that exalted station.

How?
How are we to journey in a delegation to God Most High?
With the finest, loftiest wings for flight**,
we must **take flight.

In the mightiest vessel,
let us leap toward Him and surge forward.

That exalted vessel, in a word, is the Two Weighty Things: the Qur’an and the Prophet’s Household.
Or, in other words: Muhammad and the Household of Muhammad.

Whether we will it or not, we are aboard that vessel.
If only we understand this,
and attune ourselves to that vessel, keeping pace with it and sharing its secrets,
then at every moment we will dwell in the loftiest stations
and in the presence of the Greatest Lord Most High.

🎼 Attuned to God’s gentle harmony

My whole being must be attuned to the gentle melody of God, in harmony with it.
How can I keep in step with God’s melody and become attuned to it?
Only through my sincere following of them.

They have said:
To achieve this harmony, you must follow us.
We must set our feet where they set theirs
and follow their example in all they do.

We must follow their teachings and their practice.
They do not want nominal followers; they want followers in deed.

We must become their followers in spirit and in soul,
so that we may attain the greatest meeting with God.

🧭 If we do not want to drown…

If we wish to pray without drowning,
for how many worshippers have drowned,
how many pilgrims have drowned…

What must we do to keep from drowning?
We must board that blessed vessel.
We must establish the prayer and set out on pilgrimage to the Sacred House of God.

If we do so, we will travel the path well.
If not, we will make our way toward a land of ruin.

With our whole being—with all the fullness of our existence—we must set our hearts on God.
We must attach ourselves to the means God has provided.
And with our whole being, with all our attention, we must remember our God.

How can I remember my God?
By remembering God…
If I remember my God, that remembrance is true remembrance.
Only by means of the path to God can I attain that greatest remembrance of God.

⚔️ In the battlefield of servitude, alongside all creation

I have lost the rules of the contest.
I have strayed from the rules of God’s contest… What should I do?

I must return
and set out once more on the straight path,
so I may reach my true destination.

We are in a global battle.
We are engaged in the struggle of servitude to God with the entire universe,
in a trial, a contest.

I, a human being, am in the contest of servitude to God alongside a stone,
alongside plants, alongside all the beings of the celestial realm…

I am constantly in the divine contest.
Everything in this universe
is journeying and progressing at full speed.

But what am I doing?
I am standing still!

I am aboard this vessel that travels beyond time,
journeying at full speed,
yet within me all is still; I am dead.

Dead as I am, I have placed myself aboard the vessel, but I do not understand.
The universe is racing forward at full speed.
Why is it in such haste?
I do not understand…
because I am dead.
I know nothing of it.

🌊 The system of God’s glorification: from night and day to the sun and moon

The whole night is a system;
the whole day is a system; the sun and moon,
everything floats along its orbit.

Either it glorifies God, or its very motion through the heavens is glorification.
Unless we, too, set ourselves in motion, we will not glorify God.

The whole universe is ceaselessly in motion,
and the movement of every being in creation is the glorification of God—
God’s greatest remembrance.

What am I doing?
Within this vast system of God’s glorification,
in these immense seas of remembrance of God,
what role do I play?

Why am I standing still?
Why is my remembrance silent?
When will I awaken?

Hajj reminds me to awaken.
If I do not awaken, I will reach my destination,
but how?

All will attain the meeting with God,
but a dead person like me will arrive at His sacred threshold;
and woe to me!

I will say, “O لَیْتَنِی کُنْتُ تُرَابًا…”

He will reach the destination with honour,
while I will arrive in disgrace.
I will be among the losers.

So what should I do?
How can I awaken my innate nature?

Every movement in this universe
is a sign of the Creator of existence,
a key to unlocking the mysteries of servitude to God.

I stand, bow, and prostrate.
All these movements have an inner meaning.
They are all keys.

They must unlock the inner mysteries.
If they do not,
I will remain confined to the outward words and movements
and receive nothing.

🕋 The Kaaba, God’s heart; the celestial computer of the universe

I make my way toward the Kaaba.
By God, this Kaaba is God’s secret;
it is His vast system.

This Kaaba, the Sacred House of God,
is the most sophisticated computer in the universe.

This Kaaba is God’s computer!
It possesses a celestial intelligence.

God has bestowed such intelligence upon His Kaaba
that it governs the order of this world.
It manages this earthly sphere in the finest way.

Each of its pillars has its own particular function.
It is said:
All the winds that blow in this world
issue from beneath the Syrian Corner.

But what secret is this meant to unveil to me?
It means that the ordering of the climate and all the systems of the earth
are in the hands of this Ka‘ba, the Sacred House of God.

Let me not be one who sees only the outward… What is the inner reality of this Ka‘ba?
Who is it? It is that Ka‘ba of God.
God’s qibla.

This vast system, the Sacred House of God,
is that Ka‘ba of God.
It is the Imam of all things: “أحْصَیْناهُ فِی إِمامٍ مُبِینٍ”.

If the parts and true essence of everything are in the Manifest Imam,
what kind of system does this system have?
How does it bring order to the universe?

What is the station of our Imam of the Age in this universe?
What does he do?
I have no idea! I am unaware of God’s Ka‘ba.

Why have I never visited my Imam?
Why have I never circled around him?
Why have I not found the true qibla?

This outward qibla points to the inward qibla.
Until I turn toward it, I will not understand.

He is “وَجْهُ‌اللَّه”;
the one toward whom all creation turns in its attention to God.

He is “عَیْنُ‌اللَّه”,
through whom I gaze upon the majesty of my Lord.

This is…
This is God’s Ka‘ba.
This is the Face of God.
This is the Heart of God.

With this heart, by God’s own divinity, one can experience nothing but love for God.

Without it, one cannot.
Without the Master, Baqiyyat Allah al-A‘zam, may my soul be his ransom,
one cannot worship God.

My God! I confess…
I am going to find my way.
I will confess before You at Your ‘Arafat.
Here and now, I confess.

Lord, I did not understand.
I did not know.
I betrayed myself.
Again and again, I broke my pledge of allegiance to the Imam.

🪨 Why did the Black Stone turn black?

I know…
I know why Your “Black Stone” has grown so black.

Hands of sinners like mine
reached out to pledge themselves to You,
made a sacred covenant with You…
and broke it.

And so,
they stained that white stone black.

🧾 Renewing the Covenant in the Realm of Alast

What can I do?
Where is Your record of that covenant?

How can I renew my covenant with You, my Beloved?
I will come to Your Black Stone…
or find a way back to Your Realm of Alast.

I want to say “بَلى” once more.
I have come to say again: You alone are my Lord.

I want to hear Your herald once more, calling out:
“أَلَسْتُ بِرَبِّکُمْ؟”
There, with all my heart, I will say “بَلى”
and then give my life,
so that I never again break the covenant of “Yawm al-Alast.”

My God! If You do not grant me success,
I will be lost; I will burn.

You alone can guide me,
stay with me always, to the very end,
until You Yourself place Your seal
on all Your acts of forgiveness
and make me secure.

🕋 Becoming a Haji Zayn al-‘Abidin—not merely going on Hajj

My God, I want to become a haji—a Haji Zayn al-‘Abidin.
Imam Zayn al-‘Abidin, peace be upon him, says to Shibli:

— Did you perform the Hajj?
— Yes.
— Did you enter the miqat?
Did you reach the place where you enter ihram?
Did you fear that miqat?
Did you take off your sewn clothes?
Did you perform the ritual bath?

Shibli said:
Yes. I descended to the miqat,
put aside my sewn clothes,
and performed the ritual bath.

The Imam said:
— Did you intend to cast off the garment of disobedience and put on the garment of obedience?
— No, I had forgotten… I had no such intention.

— When you took off your sewn clothes, did you intend to distance yourself from ostentation and hypocrisy,
to keep clear of the whirlpool of doubt?
— No, I didn’t.

— When you performed the ritual bath, did you intend to wash away your errors and sins?
— No, I didn’t.

The Imam said:
Then you neither entered the miqat, nor set your clothes aside, nor performed the ritual bath!

— Did you cleanse yourself? Did you take care of your cleanliness?
— Yes.
— Did you intend to purify yourself in the light of repentance?
Did you understand that you must return to Allah sincerely?
— No…

— Then you did not enter ihram.
You did not become a muhrim.
You did not make anything forbidden to yourself through ihram.

— When you entered ihram, did you intend, for the sake of your soul,
to make forbidden to yourself everything that is other than God?
— No, I did not.

— When you formed the intention to perform Hajj, did you intend in your heart
to rid yourself of everything that is other than God—to cast it away, to leave it behind?
— No…

— Then you have neither cleansed yourself,
nor entered ihram,
nor formed the intention to perform Hajj.

— When you entered the miqat,
performed the two rak‘ahs of ihram and recited the talbiyah,
did you intend to visit your Lord?
— No…

— When you prayed, had you intended
to draw near to Allah through the finest act of worship, through prayer?

— No…

— When you recited the talbiyah, did you intend
to set your whole being speaking through every act of obedience,
and silence every act of disobedience?

When you said, “Labbayka Allahumma labbayk,”
did you light the lamp of obedience within your soul
and extinguish the lamp of disobedience?

…

🧠 From the Ignorant Man’s Intimate Prayer to Imam Sajjad’s Sigh

Shibli said:
No, I hadn’t remembered to form such an intention.
I had an Imam, but I am far from him.

I have the Sahifa Sajjadiyya, yet I am far from its author;
I am more Shibli than Shibli himself.

The Imam said:
You did not enter the miqat,
you did not pray,
and you did not recite the talbiyah!

Then he said:
— When you entered the Sacred Precinct,
saw the Kaaba and prayed,
did you intend to make every sin and act of backbiting forbidden to yourself
against the people of the Muslim faith?
— No, I did not.

The Imam said:
— When you prayed and arrived in Mecca,
did you intend in your heart that you were journeying toward God?
— No…

The Imam said:
You did not enter the Sacred Precinct.
They did not admit you to the sanctuary.
You did not see the Kaaba.

Alas! He went, saw it, and even took a photograph…
Yet the Imam says, “You did not see the Kaaba!”

By God,
if someone goes there and fails to see the true Kaaba, he has lost.

O God!
Open the way to Your sanctuary…
Open my eyes…
Open my soul…
so that I may see, enter, and pray.

The Imam says:
You did not even pray!
You only performed some motions,
and those motions were meant to fulfill the prayer
—but you did not fulfill it.

— Did you circumambulate the House of God?
Did you touch its corners?
Did you perform the sa‘y between Safa and Marwa?

Shibli said:
Yes, I did.

The Imam said:
“When you performed the saʿy between Safa and Marwa,
did you intend to flee toward God?
Did you realize that He is the Knower of all faults?”
“No, I was not in such a state…”

The Imam said:
“Then you did not circumambulate the Kaaba,
you did not touch the pillars of God’s House,
and you did not perform the saʿy between Safa and Marwa.

If you had truly circumambulated,
you would have felt the love of God with your whole being.
If you had touched the pillars,
the secrets of that touch would have been illumined within you.

If you had fled toward God,
its effects would have become manifest in you.”

🖐 “Did you shake hands with the Black Stone?”

The Imam said:
“Did you shake hands with the Stone—with that black rock?”
How beautifully he put it…
صافَحتَ الحَجَر…

“Did you shake its hand?
Were you its companion?
Did you embrace it?
Did you love it?”

“Did you stand behind the Station of Abraham?
Did you pray two rakʿahs?”
“Yes.”

The Imam cried out,
as though his spirit had flown from his body.
Twice they cried:
“Ah… ah…”

At Shibli’s claim,
they gave voice to that “ah.”

Then he said:

“Whoever shakes hands with the Black Stone
is as though he has shaken hands with Allah.

There, your soul should have left your body…
at the touch of Allah’s hand.”

And he said to Shibli:

“You poor, wretched man!
Take care.
Do not violate the sanctity of His greatness.

The handclasp you shared with the Stone—
do not break it through disobedience.”

…

The hadith of Shibli continues…
If only I were worthy enough to recount it to the end.
If only…